Rules for dating my daughter agent orange

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.
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Everyone knows the trope of the overprotective father spouting off a list of "rules" for any chump who tries to date his precious little girl. Heck, they made an entire TV show off the concept. One dad posted his particular list of rules for dating his daughters, and it's gaining a lot of attention, but not for the reasons you might expect. Warren Welch is a writer and dad, raising five daughters with his wife, Natasha. As such, Welch is no stranger to jokes about what he's going to do when his daughters start dating.
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Agent Orange Back Pay and Effective Dates (SPECIAL RULES)

Normally, I flip through the interwebs casually and inattentively. I read headlines, glance at cat pictures, and roll my eyes at religious and political stuff. Every so often, I see a popular meme that irritates me so much that it jars me from my semi-conscious social media induced zombie state.
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Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.
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